Hey—it’s Clay.

On Monday, I shared the Five-Minute Rule—and how just a few focused minutes of attention can shift everything in your relationships.

Today’s Kindling is about staying with that idea.
Because connection doesn’t come from big moments.
It comes from showing up—quietly, consistently, fully—for five minutes at a time.

This week, I’ve got a short story about a flat tire and unexpected kindness, a quote that reframes generosity, and a handful of small habits to help you reconnect without overthinking it.

Let’s keep it simple—and keep it going. 🔥

Be Present, Not Perfect

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be better husbands and dads—more attentive, more engaged, more patient. And when we fall short, we try to make up for it with grand gestures or wait for the “perfect” moment to reconnect.

But your family doesn’t need you to be perfect.
They just need you to be present.

I wrote about this a few weeks ago, after a rough stretch where I felt like I was dropping the ball across the board—work, energy, connection, all of it. The turning point wasn’t anything dramatic. It was one quiet evening, sitting next to my wife, no phone, no agenda. Just being there.

And that was enough.

Sometimes, five minutes of presence says more than an hour of performance.

So if this week’s been messy—or you’ve been distracted, tired, pulled in a dozen directions—don’t wait for the perfect moment.

Start small.
Show up.
Five minutes is enough.

→ Read the full Perspective: Be Present

Quote of the Week

We think generosity means giving more.
But these days, the rarest thing you can give is your full attention.

Five minutes of undivided presence tells someone:
I see you. You matter.

👉 No multitasking. No scrolling. Just five real minutes.

A Ride, A Repair, A Reminder

This weekend, my wife and I took our daughter to a birthday party out in the country.
Fun and simple—until I noticed a flat tire. No spare. No fix on-site.

The birthday girl’s dad—a guy I’d never met—didn’t hesitate. He drove me 20 minutes to Walmart, waited while the tire was repaired, then helped me bolt it back on.

Not because he had to.
Just because that’s what decent men do.

On the drive, we listened to Audioslave and Counting Crows, swapped stories about being bad lead singers in worse cover bands, and laughed more than I expected.

It reminded me:

Character isn’t always loud.
It’s not a speech or a spotlight.
It’s showing up, giving your time, lending a hand—no fanfare, no scoreboard.

That’s the kind of man I want to be.
The kind who helps without needing credit.
Who makes his corner of the world a little better.

One ride.
One repair.
One reminder.

What It Always Comes Back To

A five-minute check-in. A text that actually says something. A ride from a stranger.
None of it’s flashy—but all of it matters.

This issue wasn’t about doing more. It was about doing less—with more intention.

Because your family, your friends, your people—
they don’t need grand gestures.
They just need you—undistracted, grounded, fully there.

So this week, here’s the challenge:

👉 Don’t wait for the perfect moment.
Just find one real one.
Be present in it.

That’s enough.

Until next time—
Keep the fires burning,
— Clay

If you’re digging Campfire Gentleman, check out a few other newsletters I actually read and recommend. No fluff—just solid stuff from like-minded guys trying to build something that matters.