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Hey—it’s Clay.

Earlier this week, we talked about how the first 20 minutes at home can shape the rest of your evening—and why showing up with intention matters more than showing up with energy.

But let’s be real: it doesn’t always go smoothly.

Kids resist. Schedules collide. Life gets messy.

Today’s Kindling is about what happens after that first good effort—when real life kicks in and you wonder if any of it’s working.

You’ll find two common roadblocks, a quote that reframes habit-building, and a quick story about a 1:00 PM meeting that reminded me: the small choices we protect often become the legacy we leave.

Let’s get into it. 🔥

The Roadblocks Are Real (But So Is the Impact)

You’ve walked in the door. You’ve done the reset. You’ve even carved out those first 20 minutes with your family.

But then life hits.

Dinner’s a mess. The dog throws up. One kid’s melting down and the other is suddenly mute.

Or maybe it’s just a quieter resistance—your people don’t seem interested. They shrug off your questions, ignore your presence, or give one-word answers that feel like dead ends.

It’s easy to think, “Why even bother?”

But that’s the moment to keep going.

Here are two common roadblocks—and how to get through them:

🚧 “We’re Too Busy”

You don’t need more time. You need a trigger.
Pair a 60-second moment of connection with something that already happens.

• At dinner? Ask a quick question between bites.

• At bedtime? Do a one-minute check-in before lights out.

• In the car? Talk instead of turning on a podcast.

It’s not about finding extra time. It’s about using the time you already have on purpose.

🚧 “They Don’t Engage”

That’s okay. Don’t push it. Just stay consistent—and meet them where they are.

• Little kids? Be silly.

• Teenagers? Be nearby.

• Your spouse? Be curious.

Low pressure. No expectations. Just presence.

Why It’s Worth It

💬 More honest conversations
🧱 Stronger relationships
🧠 Less stress—for everyone

These small moments build the kind of trust that holds steady when life gets hard.
They aren’t always flashy. But they’re forming the foundation of something that lasts.

Keep it simple. Keep it consistent. Keep showing up.

Quote of the week

If you’re always stuck in work mode when you walk through the door, that’s not a failure—it’s a habit. And habits don’t change with good intentions. They change with reps. Want to be present with your family? Practice. Every day. Show up. Shut the laptop. Look your kid in the eye. That’s how it starts.

The 1:00 Meeting

A few years ago, I was working a hybrid job I’d taken after a long stretch of unemployment.

Before I even accepted the offer, I told them:

“I don’t want to miss what I’ve built with my family. I can’t go back to a job that expects me to be available 8–5, five days a week. I’m only interested if it can be hybrid—and flexible.”

To my surprise, they said yes.

A few months in, the CEO scheduled a meeting for 1:00 PM.

My manager told him:

“Clay won’t be there. He leaves at 1:00. You’ll have to reschedule or loop him in remotely.”

And that’s exactly what happened. Everyone else was in the boardroom. I was at home, finishing the call while my son waited to show me something he’d been working on.

Now—I get it. Not everyone has the kind of flexibility I did in that role.
A lot of dads are doing what they have to do to keep the lights on. I’ve been there too.

But here’s what that moment taught me:

When you set clear intentions and communicate your boundaries, people will often surprise you by how much they respect them.

Even if you can’t shift your hours, you can fight for five minutes of undivided attention.
Even if you can’t leave early, you can decide what happens when you walk through the door.

Sometimes it’s a big move. Sometimes it’s a small one.

But either way—it’s yours to make.

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The Foundation You’re Laying

It’s not never missing a moment.
It’s building a life where showing up is your default.

Even when it’s hard. Even when no one seems to notice.
Even when the dog throws up during dinner.

Keep practicing presence.

Because those small, quiet moments you fight for today?
They become the foundation your family stands on tomorrow.

Until next time—
Keep the fires burning,
— Clay

If you’re digging Campfire Gentleman, check out a few other newsletters I actually read and recommend. No fluff—just solid stuff from like-minded guys trying to build something that matters.