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Morning—Clay here.

Lately, I’ve been leaning heavily on reflections—sharing insights and perspective shifts that (hopefully) help you see things a little differently. But I don’t want to stop at big ideas. I want to keep giving you simple, actionable steps you can actually use. So today, you’re getting both: a shift in perspective and a solid step you can take to put it into practice—something I call The Family Filter.🔥 

The Family Filter

How to Block Out Noise and Focus on What Matters

Most of us don’t even notice it, but every decision we make gets run through a filter. For some men, it’s convenience—whatever’s easiest wins. For others, it’s achievement—if it boosts the career, it’s a yes. Some lean on comparison—how do I measure up against other guys? Others default to escape—anything to take the edge off. And of course, there’s the money filter—cheapest or most profitable usually gets the nod.

For me, it was often the “Is this what I’m supposed to be doing?” filter—chasing expectations instead of clarity.

But here’s the thing: these filters rarely build the kind of life you actually want.

The Family Filter

That’s where the Family Filter changes everything.

Instead of asking what’s easiest, most impressive, or most expected, you start with a different question: How will this choice affect the people who matter most?

• Fatherhood → What will my kids learn from this?

• Marriage → Will this strengthen or strain my relationship?

• Self → Will this make me healthier, more grounded, or more present so I can keep showing up?

When you start here, the noise clears. Priorities line up. You see what matters most and what doesn’t.

Why Other Filters Fall Short

The convenience filter feels good in the moment, but often leaves regret. The achievement filter can pad a résumé while starving a marriage. The escape filter numbs stress without solving anything, and the money filter might save a buck today but cost you presence tomorrow. Those filters are all short-term. The Family Filter is different—it’s long-term. It’s about legacy, not quick wins.

How It Plays Out

• Deciding whether to stay late at work → “What will my kids remember?”

• Choosing what to eat → “Will this give me the energy to be present tonight?”

• Reaching for your phone vs. looking your wife in the eye → “Who needs my attention more right now?”

When you run decisions through the Family Filter, the answers often surprise you, but they rarely steer you wrong.

Filters shape what gets through and what doesn’t. If family is the filter, the right things rise to the top.

Until next time—
keep the fires burning.
– Clay

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