If you don’t embrace change, you will get bitter about it.

Midlife’s coming whether you’re ready or not. The trick is learning to grow with it.

Author

Clay Garrett
November 6th, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 7 minutes

In partnership with

Morning — Clay here.

Midlife has a way of sneaking up on you. One day you’re keeping pace, the next you’re trying to figure out why the 👍 emoji is suddenly offensive.

This week’s Kindling is about change—how to grow with it instead of getting bitter about it. I’ll also share a quick note on The Alchemist and a reminder about my chat with Bryan Ward on the Dad Up podcast.

Let’s go. 🔥

If you don’t embrace change, you will get bitter about it.

Another installment of the series: Things I’ve Learned in the First Quarter of Middle Age (That I Probably Should’ve Already Known).

Midlife is full of shifts—your body, your kids, your marriage, your job, your friendships. It’s tempting to resist it all—to wish things would just stay put for a while.

But here’s the truth: change doesn’t ask for your permission. It’s coming either way. And if you don’t adapt, you don’t stay the same—or even just slip behind—you get bitter.

  • You start resenting your kids for growing up.

  • Your body for slowing down.

  • Your spouse for evolving.

  • Your job for demanding more than it used to.

  • Your friends for drifting.

  • Yourself… for not being who you used to be.

The only way to avoid bitterness is to grow with the change—to see it not as an enemy, but as an invitation.

Midlife doesn’t come with a syllabus. You just wake up one day and realize certain things don’t hit the same—concerts, calories, or conflict. Nobody gives you a heads-up that your back might tap out before the headliner does.

But over the last few years, I’ve picked up a few unexpected (and sometimes humbling) lessons—things I wish I’d known earlier.

An Honest Conversation (If You’re Up for It)

Last week, I sent out a note about an idea that’s been on my mind—hosting a small Campfire-style conversation for men.

It started after a talk with a friend not long ago. We were catching up about life—how fast everything moves, how hard it can be to find people who actually get it. By the end of the conversation, we both said the same thing: We need more of this.

So I’m thinking about gathering a small group of men for one honest, unhurried conversation—something real and off-script. A space to share stories, compare notes, and talk about what’s working (and what’s not) when it comes to living with purpose, growth, and connection.

Would you be interested in joining that?

👉 If so, just hit reply and let me know.

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What I’m Reading

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Every once in a while, you come across a book that feels less like advice and more like a mirror. The Alchemist is one of those.

It’s simple on the surface—a shepherd goes searching for treasure—but underneath it’s really about paying attention to the quiet signals life sends your way. It’s about having the courage to change direction, the humility to start over, and the faith to believe there’s meaning in the detours.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

There’s a line in the book that says, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
That’s not about wishing for an easy life—it’s about moving in alignment with what’s true, even when it’s hard.

If you’ve been feeling a pull toward something new—or maybe just wondering what’s next—this one’s worth your time.

→ Check it out on Amazon
Affiliate link—see disclosure below.

Dad Up Podcast

If you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, I recently joined Bryan Ward on the Dad Up Podcast—a show I’ve admired for years.

Give it a listen when you get a minute—link below.

Until next time—
Keep the fires burning,
— Clay

P.S. I’d rather grow Campfire Gentleman through real connections than algorithms. If something here resonated with you, forward it to one friend who might enjoy it too. That simple act helps more than you know—and keeps me off the social media hamster wheel.

If you like Campfire Gentleman, here are a few other newsletters I actually read.

Affiliate Disclosure: Some of the links in this newsletter are affiliate links. That means if you click through and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission—at no extra cost to you. I only share products and services I genuinely believe add value and align with the mission of Campfire Gentleman