Hey—it’s Clay.

This week’s Kindling kicks off a new series I’ve been meaning to write for a while:
Things I’ve Learned in the First Quarter of Middle Age (That I Probably Should’ve Already Known).

Some of these lessons are deep. Some are uncomfortable.
And some, like today’s, start with a sore back and a standing-room-only concert ticket.

Because midlife has a way of humbling you.
Not all at once.
Just slowly, until you realize the life you used to want… might not be the one you actually want now.

Let’s get into it. 🔥

General Admission Is a Young Man’s Game

Lesson 1 in a new series: Things I’ve Learned in the First Quarter of Middle Age (That I Probably Should’ve Already Known).

A while back, I went to a Clutch concert.

I was fired up. I’ve been a fan since my buddy (who also came to the show) burned me a CD combo of Blast Tyrant and Robot Hive/Exodus.
Burning CDs… remember that?

But by the end of the two opening acts, my back was already revolting. When Clutch finally took the stage, I found myself doing the math on how much longer I could stand without regretting it for a week.

Somewhere around “Profits of Doom,” I caught myself staring at the VIP section—not because of the status… but because they had chairs.

That’s when it hit me:

General admission, standing-room-only is a young man’s game.

But this isn’t just about concerts, aching backs, or creaky knees. It’s about knowing where you are in life—and what actually matters now.

In your 20s, you chase the edge.
In your 40s, you chase sustainability.

It’s not that I can’t do it anymore.
It’s that I’m no longer willing to pay the price for pretending I can still escape unscathed.

Being 40 doesn’t mean the fun’s over.
It just means I want a seat—and if that seat comes with a separate bar and bathroom? Even better.

Trade Impressive for Aligned

This week, take 10 minutes and do a gut-check:

What’s one thing you’re chasing that looks good on paper—but doesn’t actually matter to you?

Then take one small step back from it.

Cancel a meeting you don’t need.
Say no to a project that’s all pressure, no purpose.
Close the laptop and be fully present at dinner.

You don’t need to burn it all down.
Just make a move from impressive to aligned.

That’s where meaning lives.

The Good Life Isn’t Standing Room Only

Middle age has a way of sneaking up on you.
Not all at once, but slowly.
So slowly, you don’t realize your back is aching…
your calendar’s packed…
your life feels impressive, but not personal.

Until one night at a concert,
or one blurry inspiring lyric from the balcony,
or one quiet moment alone, you realize:

You’re chasing things that don’t fit anymore.

So here’s your challenge:

👉 Take 10 minutes this week and ask yourself:
Where am I still standing in a life I’ve outgrown, just because it used to feel right?
Then take one small step toward something that fits who you are now.

You don’t have to fight for space in the pit anymore.
It’s your life… you’ve earned a seat.
Make sure the life you’re building has room for it.

Keep the fires burning,
—Clay

If you didn’t originally find Campfire Gentleman through a recommendation from Midlife Male, go check them out.

It’s a newsletter I’ve been reading for years—packed with real insight, practical perspective, and the kind of reflection every guy needs more of.

If you’re digging Campfire Gentleman, check out a few other newsletters I actually read and recommend. No fluff—just solid stuff from like-minded guys trying to build something that matters.

Cluth photo thumbnail by Frank Schwichtenberg